diff --git a/dealer.go b/dealer.go
index 398f4e2..fdfa256 100644
--- a/dealer.go
+++ b/dealer.go
@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@ package main
 import (
 	"fmt"
 	"log"
+	"strings"
 
 	"maunium.net/go/mautrix"
 	"maunium.net/go/mautrix/event"
@@ -73,17 +74,53 @@ func (d *Dealer) RegisterHandlers() {
 			log.Printf("received membership event for non active game: %v", evt)
 			return
 		}
-		if evt.Sender != match.P1 || evt.Sender != match.P2 || evt.Sender != d.Client.UserID {
+		if evt.Sender != match.P1 && evt.Sender != match.P2 && evt.Sender != d.Client.UserID {
 			log.Println("membership event for non player")
 			return
 		}
-		gameRoom := d.Client.Store.LoadRoom(evt.RoomID)
-		match.JoinOrLeave(gameRoom, evt)
+		members, err := d.Client.JoinedMembers(evt.RoomID)
+		if err != nil {
+			panic(err)
+		}
+		match.JoinOrLeave(members.Joined, evt.Content.AsMember())
 	})
 	syncer.OnEventType(event.EventMessage, func(source mautrix.EventSource, evt *event.Event) {
-		playerRoom, ok := d.PlayerRooms[evt.Sender]
-		if ok {
+		playerRoom, pok := d.PlayerRooms[evt.Sender]
+		if pok {
 			log.Printf("received direct message in room %v", playerRoom)
+			var roominfo PlayerRoomInfo
+			_ = d.Client.StateEvent(playerRoom, event.Type{"snen.player", event.StateEventType}, "player_info", &roominfo)
+			if roominfo.CurrentGame != "" {
+				//parse as gamecommand
+				match := d.RoomsList[roominfo.CurrentGame]
+				if match.Game == nil {
+					d.Client.SendText(playerRoom, "can't accept game commands yet")
+					return
+				}
+				resp := match.ParseAction(evt.Content.AsMessage().Body)
+				if resp.Body != "" {
+					_, err := d.Client.SendText(playerRoom, resp.Body)
+					if err != nil {
+						panic(err)
+					}
+					d.Client.SendText(roominfo.CurrentGame, fmt.Sprintf("%v played %v", evt.Sender, evt.Content.AsMessage().Body))
+
+					if !resp.Private {
+						d.Client.SendText(roominfo.CurrentGame, fmt.Sprintf("Result: %v", resp.Body))
+					}
+				}
+			} else {
+				//parse as out of game command
+				log.Println("out of game command received")
+				//TODO make this better
+				msg := evt.Content.AsMessage().Body
+				msg_s := strings.Split(msg, " ")
+				if msg_s[0] == "direct" {
+					d.NewMatch(evt.Sender, id.NewUserID(msg_s[1], d.HomeserverDomain))
+				}
+
+			}
+
 			return
 		}
 		match, ok := d.RoomsList[evt.RoomID]
@@ -95,26 +132,7 @@ func (d *Dealer) RegisterHandlers() {
 			log.Println("ignoring message event from non player")
 			return
 		}
-		//parse as game command
-		resp := match.ParseAction(evt.Content.AsMessage().Body)
-		if resp.Private {
-			//respond privately
-			dm, ok := d.PlayerRooms[evt.Sender]
-			if !ok {
-				log.Println("tried to send private message to player without room")
-				return
-			}
-			_, err := d.Client.SendText(dm, resp.Body)
-			if err != nil {
-				panic(err)
-			}
-		} else {
-			_, err := d.Client.SendText(evt.RoomID, resp.Body)
-			if err != nil {
-				panic(err)
-			}
-		}
-
+		//parse as in game command i.e. chat
 	})
 }
 
@@ -185,7 +203,7 @@ func (d *Dealer) NewMatch(p1, p2 id.UserID) *Match {
 	match := NewMatch()
 	roomname := fmt.Sprintf("tome_match_%v", match.ID)
 	createRes, err := d.Client.CreateRoom(&mautrix.ReqCreateRoom{
-		Preset:        "public",
+		Preset:        "public_chat",
 		RoomAliasName: roomname,
 		Invite:        []id.UserID{p1, p2},
 	})
@@ -195,9 +213,21 @@ func (d *Dealer) NewMatch(p1, p2 id.UserID) *Match {
 	}
 	match.MatrixRoom = createRes.RoomID
 	match.P1 = p1
+	match.P1Room = d.PlayerRooms[p1]
 	match.P2 = p2
+	match.P2Room = d.PlayerRooms[p2]
 	match.Dealer = d.Client.UserID
 	d.RoomsList[createRes.RoomID] = match
+
+	d.Client.SendStateEvent(match.P1Room, event.Type{"snen.player", event.StateEventType}, "player_info", PlayerRoomInfo{
+		CurrentGame: match.MatrixRoom,
+		CurrentDeck: []int{},
+	})
+	d.Client.SendStateEvent(match.P2Room, event.Type{"snen.player", event.StateEventType}, "player_info", PlayerRoomInfo{
+		CurrentGame: match.MatrixRoom,
+		CurrentDeck: []int{},
+	})
+
 	return match
 }
 
diff --git a/match.go b/match.go
index aa74574..d6d5bf4 100644
--- a/match.go
+++ b/match.go
@@ -7,7 +7,6 @@ import (
 	"git.saintnet.tech/tomecraft/tome_game"
 	"git.saintnet.tech/tomecraft/tome_lib"
 	"github.com/google/uuid"
-	"maunium.net/go/mautrix"
 	"maunium.net/go/mautrix/event"
 	"maunium.net/go/mautrix/id"
 )
@@ -16,7 +15,9 @@ type Match struct {
 	ID         uuid.UUID
 	Game       *tome_game.Game
 	P1         id.UserID
+	P1Room     id.RoomID
 	P2         id.UserID
+	P2Room     id.RoomID
 	Dealer     id.UserID
 	MatrixRoom id.RoomID
 }
@@ -31,19 +32,21 @@ func NewMatch() *Match {
 		ID:         uuid.New(),
 		Game:       nil,
 		P1:         "",
+		P1Room:     "",
 		P2:         "",
+		P2Room:     "",
 		MatrixRoom: "",
 	}
 }
 
 func (m *Match) ParseAction(msg string) MatchResp {
-	var cmd *tome_lib.Command
-	err := json.Unmarshal([]byte(msg), cmd)
+	var cmd tome_lib.Command
+	err := json.Unmarshal([]byte(msg), &cmd)
 	if err != nil {
 		log.Printf("error unmarshaling gamecommand %v", err)
 		return MatchResp{Body: "", Private: false}
 	}
-	res := m.Game.Parse(cmd)
+	res := m.Game.Parse(&cmd)
 	match_res := MatchResp{
 		Body:    res.String(),
 		Private: (cmd.Type == tome_lib.ActCmd && cmd.String() == "d"),
@@ -52,21 +55,30 @@ func (m *Match) ParseAction(msg string) MatchResp {
 
 }
 
-func (m *Match) JoinOrLeave(gameRoom *mautrix.Room, evt *event.Event) {
-	if gameRoom == nil {
-		panic("no matrix room for game")
-	}
-	if evt.Content.AsMember().Membership == event.MembershipJoin {
-		if gameRoom.GetMembershipState(m.P1) == event.MembershipJoin && gameRoom.GetMembershipState(m.P2) == event.MembershipJoin {
+func (m *Match) JoinOrLeave(members map[id.UserID]struct {
+	DisplayName *string `json:"display_name"`
+	AvatarURL   *string `json:"avatar_url"`
+}, evt *event.MemberEventContent) {
+	_, p1ok := members[m.P1]
+	_, p2ok := members[m.P2]
+	if evt.Membership == event.MembershipJoin {
+		if m.Game != nil {
+			//players are already here, we don't care about joins
+			return
+		}
+		if p1ok && p2ok {
 			log.Println("both players are in the room now")
 			m.Game = tome_game.NewGame([]int{}, []int{})
 		}
-	} else if evt.Content.AsMember().Membership == event.MembershipLeave {
-		if m.Game.Status != tome_lib.StatusDraw ||
-			m.Game.Status != tome_lib.StatusScourgeWin ||
-			m.Game.Status != tome_lib.StatusSentinalWin {
+	} else if evt.Membership == event.MembershipLeave {
+		if !p1ok || !p2ok {
+			if m.Game.Status != tome_lib.StatusDraw ||
+				m.Game.Status != tome_lib.StatusScourgeWin ||
+				m.Game.Status != tome_lib.StatusSentinalWin {
 
-			m.Game.Status = tome_lib.StatusStop
+				m.Game.Status = tome_lib.StatusStop
+				log.Println("user left match; stopping")
+			}
 		}
 	} else {
 		log.Println("disregarding membership event we don't care about")
diff --git a/player_room.go b/player_room.go
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..fec21b0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/player_room.go
@@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
+package main
+
+import "maunium.net/go/mautrix/id"
+
+type PlayerRoomInfo struct {
+	CurrentGame id.RoomID `json:'current_game'`
+	CurrentDeck []int     `json:'current_deck'`
+}